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Fatty’s Mysterious Illness! The Lumpkin Diaries Part 2

Fatty’s Mysterious Illness! The Lumpkin Diaries Part 2

9/19/14   Weather variable, date whatever. Dear Diary, only in your kindly pages would I disclose what I am about to say. So glad I have you to talk to, Diary! Okay, here it is: Though I am a most dominant and daring cat in the areas of food-stealing and sneaking...
Cat Attorney Self-Discloses: The Lumpkin Diaries Begin!

Cat Attorney Self-Discloses: The Lumpkin Diaries Begin!

If you know The Book of Squidly Light, you may know that the Cat Fatty Lumpkin is on record as lamenting his regrettable Lack of Thumbs, and you may also know that Another Character has been privileged to read his diary. Almost no one else has seen it! However, due to...
No-Name Stupid Does Not Speak

No-Name Stupid Does Not Speak

I’m not going to say anything. As you should probably know at your age, horses don’t talk. (Not meaning to seem condescending . . .) Now if you were an eight-foot-tall sparkling alien Squid with really nice manners, it would be different, because they can...
A Super Villain Speaks

A Super Villain Speaks

I am a person of extraordinary abilities, and I have always known this. No ordinary mind could have seen, even as a child, through the delusionally sentimental fog of optimism, romance, love of family, devotion to ‘god’, self-help, artistic ideals and...
Literary Lion Sinks to Unspeakable Depths!

Literary Lion Sinks to Unspeakable Depths!

“Basel Vasselschnauzer, literary critic extraordinaire, had become a floor sitter!” Now, we don’t usually share quotes from The Chronicles of Halycon Sage, but someone recently inquired how Basel Vasselschnauzer, surely the most dignified man on the...